Some might say my biggest flaw is my dewy eyed optimistic belief that there is room enough for all of us to shine. Because of that, I never hesitate to recommend people, connect people, reach out to people or invite them to the party whatever the party is, even if it might mean competition for me. That's come back to bite me on the ass more than a few times, but in the big picture cosmic reality, it's the only way I know how to move through the world. I see the connections and I am driven to make them. And let's face it, no matter what you do there will always be competition. Even if you know it's an illusion, other people may not have gotten the memo.
I try not to carry great expectations of reciprocation or recognition or appreciation. Expectations are tricky things. You can't give and expect, you simply have to give. That's a pretty big pill to swallow and we're all human, aren't we? People don't always rise to the occasion. People don't always give credit where credit is due. Truth is, most people usually won't rise to the occasion. And when you're smart and sparkly and talented and nice, it really pisses some people off. How dare you be so...shiny!
I'm always shocked beyond belief when someone whom I've connected or assisted or invited turns around and kicks me in the ass. It happens far more often than you'd imagine. I suppose I should kick back more often, but I truly don't see the point. Frustrating as it might be to those in my innermost circle, being an asshole just isn't how I roll. I'd rather walk away than get dragged into someone else's crazy drama. Though believe me, I have been dragged in without my consent on many occasions.
And of course, it also means I've walked away, a lot.
The thing is, at some point you can't keep walking away, not if you want to survive. I'm willing and able to fight if shoved against a wall. I've got no problem at all speaking my mind. I'm not afraid to point out that the emperor has no clothes. I am not, however, an asshole.
I'm amazed out how many successful people are assholes. Some of them so skilled at being assholes, they can do it seamlessly and without the slightest hint of unpleasant odor. Well, at least to those who aren't keyed into their bullshit. Those are the first people in line for the favors, connections, invitations and recommendations and the first ones to turn around and slam the door in your face. They're the people that surprisingly often appear to the outside world and the folks in charge to be absolutely delightful. They've honed their brown nosing skills and they're master manipulators and thieves. They're sociopaths, for sure, which affords them the freedom to do as they please and to be completely unconcerned with the repercussions of their actions.
I fall on the opposite end of that spectrum. I love too much. I open myself up too wide. I care too deeply.
And that's something I can not change.
I can, however, surround myself with people who approach life as I do. I can remove those who will never meet even my smallest expectations of respect and kindness from my sphere
We are all responsible for our own happiness.
No one can make us sad or happy or angry, we own those reactions. Seize
joy. Share joy. Become happy. Watch the world shift.
It's also okay to lace up your steel toed stilettos and send the assholes packing now and again.