Monday, February 28, 2011
Sometimes I feel stuck in the resistance of people who feel threatened by me. Let me be clear, it's not all about me, it's not about me at all. It's about them. It's about living in a state of lack and allowing that state of lack and fear to project outward and infect your actions. This happens to all of us at some point or another if we put ourselves out there and god forbid, achieve some level of success. I first noticed this phenomenon when I was a kid. People who don't sit quietly in the corner, who don't follow the rules blindly, who sparkle freely, who live out loud...especially people who do all of that and also boldly encourage others to do the same...we are threatening. We are threatening because our presence is catalytic.
It's weird, because my endless Pollyanna desire for community and belonging is ever thwarted by my square peg in a round hole reality.
I have never fit in and I'm afraid it's become increasingly obvious that I never will. Even among the misfits I'm some how odd girl out.
C'est la vie.
The thing that makes this frustrating is these threatened people often do their best to push me out of the spotlight, out of my jobs, out of my connections, out of the party...though how my leaving will make them appear any better at what they do is beyond my comprehension.
In point of fact, together we are far stronger than we are individually.
I want to take them gently by the hand and sit them down and say, hey, listen, I'm not the enemy. I don't want to take your pie, I'm busy baking my own. You don't get anything out of making someone else smaller, except bad karma and a side of guilt. It's okay for all of us to become exactly who we are and in doing so there is no possibility for competition or threat, no one in the entire world can be you better than you can. It's okay to get yours, but you don't have to kick someone else in the shins to do it. I don't need to take away from you to make me bigger.
I just want to shine and watch you shine and encourage everyone to shine...
Yeah, I want to buy the world a Coke.
Except for the diabetics who probably don't need a Coke, so maybe I can get them a sparkling water instead.
But I digress...
There is room enough in the sky for every star to shine. So just shine brightly and don't worry about that star on the left or the right, they're doing their own shiny thing. Do yours.
"Your life is an occasion, rise to it." Mr. Magorium