Thursday, May 21, 2009

My Friend Michael Benbrook

Michael Benbrook as Joan Crawford

If you read my other blog, you'll see I posted about Adam Lambert and American Idol. It finally occured to me why I fell so hard for Adam. Adam reminds me of a very dear friend who died a few years ago from AIDs. Michael Benbrook was without doubt one of the most talented people I've EVER known. He had a four octave vocal range and a larger than life personality to go with it. Here's an obituary for Michael I found on the web. I can so see him defying a SWAT team with a water gun...totally Michael. He was outrageous and fearless in every way imaginable.

We met in the theatre scene in Sacramento back in the early 80s. I was a wide eyed ingenue and Michael was a force of nature. We did Camelot together, I was Guenevere and he played Lancelot. I quickly became his muse and he became my punk rock mentor. We'd hit the clubs decked out in the most absurdly fabulous outfits that Michael would create for us. He'd sew pencil skirts so tight that I could barely walk in them, put me in sky high stilettos and transform me into an exotic and beautiful creature. It was like being a living Barbie Doll! For a while there the folks at the gay clubs were quite convinced I was the most fabulous drag queen in San Jose.


Tee hee.

Michael was a complicated person...as all of the best people are. He had an intense personality and a burning need to be noticed, as did I. We lived together with my uncle Shawn in a small apartment above a TV Repair shop in San Jose. I'm quite sure we drove my poor uncle mad with our antics and for that I am truly sorry. Michael worked as a waiter at a chi chi hotel down the road and would walk home from work late nights singing at the top of his lungs. You could hear him singing from blocks away. That voice...was unearthly. He absolutely should have been a super star. He could sing anything. He died far too young.

AIDs took away a lot of incredible people whom I loved dearly, including my uncle Shawn. I can remember talking about it with Michael when it first started emerging in the Bay Area. We really didn't understand it back then. I couldn't believe it years later when I got the call from an old friend that Michael had died...at only 41. He just seemed so invincible, so full of life. What a waste.

Michael was 6'3" tall and he loved exaggerating his stature with the outfits he'd concoct. He adored Jean Paul Gaultier and Theirry Mugler. He'd carve huge shoulder pads out of foam rubber and slide them in his shirts. He'd super glue Barbie dolls to his ears. He rocked a skirt like no other man I've ever seen. He had a shocking red pompador, a charmingly freckled strewn visage and was a master with make-up and styling. We often hit San Francisco club scene, burning up the dance floor, hitting the after hour parties back before they were called raves, crawling home the next morning on the BART scaring the bejesus out of the morning passengers. I think my favorite moment with Michael was marching in the Halloween parade on Castro Street in full drag together. I was Marilyn Monroe to his alter ego Ruby Begonia in all of her red satin fitted ball gown glory. What an amazing night. What an amazing human being.

Michael and I lost track of each other after he moved to San Francisco to join the cast of Beach Blanket Babylon. I left California behind to start a new life and wondered often how he was and what he was doing. I thought for sure he'd make it to Broadway one day. His death was a tragic, tragic loss.

So Adam Lambert, let that freak flag fly high and never apologize for who you are. The world needs people who are unafraid like you and Michael. We need your spirit, your talent and your tenacity. The more outrageous you are, the more you inspire others to be the same.

Life is too short to apologize for being fabulous.


In the words of the indomitable Bette Midler, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

And Michael, I'm very much looking forward to playing dress up again with you when I shake this mortal coil. I hope they have well stocked Thrift Stores in the afterlife!

xoxo
Madge

13 comments:

David said...

Your story is very touching personally since I too was fortunate enough to have a wonderful friend very much like your Michael. He too was taken from us much too young by AIDS.

Margot Potter said...

David

We were blessed to know them. I think some people burn so brightly, it's hard for them to stay with us for long. They never leave our memories or our hearts though.

Love
Margot

Gaea said...

Thank you for reminding me of the beauty and fragility of life.

FunkyMonkey Girls said...

That is sad that he died so young...he sounded like a totally hoot to hang out with!

Funky Monkey Girl,
Jolene

BJ Lantz said...

That was a lovely tribute to your dear friend. He sounds like somebody I would have loved to have known.

Sharon Scanlin said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and that your friend is gone. Shawn would love your tribute to Michael, and acknowledgment of his own loss to AIDs. Seems to me it is the larger than life personalities that shape and define us. We are so much better in the good places because of them. Thank you for introducing him. I wish I could have known him, too.

Jean said...

Hi--I just tagged you! xox jean!

Jean said...

I did not read this post--forgive me. It is late. I will return an read it tomorrow. the loss of a dear friend is an important loss indeed. xox jean

Angela said...

I feel like singing Memory from cats. :) The theatre always brings back memories. Thanks for sharing with us!
*HUGS*

Hilton said...

Such joyful, carefree, happy memories. RIP

Barbe Saint John/ Saints and Sinners® said...

I would have LOVED him, and this is such a wonderful tribute to him.

You are right, if you have a freak flag - wave it high!

I think some souls burn bright, colorful and hard but only for a short while. Condensed to show us all how wonderful this existance really is.

So all you freaks and non freaks alike, be proud to be WHO you are and don't let anyone pull you down.

xoxoxo

shaynechandler67 said...

Michael and his best friend Boyd Converse were bigger than life. When they walked into the stud or DV8 they towered over us.

I would go over to there appartment and the whole place would be filled with clothing racks and the forgotten kitchen piled counter high with shoes and clothes.

They are both truly missed,
Shayne

shaynechandler67 said...

Michael and his best friend Boyd Converse were bigger than life. When they walked into the stud or DV8 they towered over us.

I would go over to there appartment and the whole place would be filled with clothing racks and the forgotten kitchen piled counter high with shoes and clothes.

They are both truly missed,
Shayne